"Fall is my favorite season in Los Angeles, watching the birds change color and fall from the trees."

"We inadvertently bombed the Chinese Embassy. But Clinton now is working very hard. He has sent a letter of apology to the Chinese. And, he's also given them a gift certificate for future nuclear secrets."

"I cannot sing, dance or act what else would I be but a talk show host."

"The White House is giving George W. Bush intelligence briefings. You know, some of these jokes just write themselves."

"My dad was one of the reasons I got into rock and roll, because I was learning the ropes of his business, which was selling powertools, and I was looking for a way out from under his heel. I was like, 'Where's the fun? Where's the glamour?'"

"Perhaps one of the most important accomplishments of my administration has been minding my own business."

"Well, just being stupid and politically incorrect doesn't work. You can be politically incorrect if you're smart."

"I'm so wrapped up in my work that it's often impossible to consider other things in my life. My marriage ended in divorce because of this, my relationship with Holly has suffered by this."