"That's the great thing about a tractor. You can't really hear the phone ring."

"If you've ever made change in the offering plate, you might be a redneck."

"If you own a home with wheels on it and several cars without, you just might be a redneck."

"Find something in life that you love doing. If you make a lot of money, that's a bonus, and if you don't, you still won't hate going to work."

"My father has always been the heart of my Penn Cage novels."

"I don't have to look up my family tree, because I know that I'm the sap."

"The three great problems of this century the degradation of man in the proletariat, the subjection of women through hunger, the atrophy of the child by darkness."

"For 'The Haunting Hour,' I thought it would be a lot of fun. It was great to play this cool kid role. My episode is called 'The Intruders' and my character is this mean, angry teenager because her younger brother was just born and he gets all of the attention. She's always playing tricks on her family, and there are some cool twists."