"I want to write a book which is the history of comedy."

"I had a very, very difficult relationship with my mother, who was supremely self-centred. She was hilariously self-centred. She did not really take interest in anything that didn't immediately affect her."

"I was very sad to hear of the death of Ronnie Barker, who was such a warm, friendly and encouraging presence to have when I started in television. He was also a great comic actor to learn from."

"Michael Palin decided to give up on his considerable comedy talents to make those dreadfully tedious travel shows. Have you ever tried to watch one?"

"We didn't make no mistakes. We didn't make no mistakes."

"It is difficult, if not impossible, to argue that laws written in the 1970s are adequate for today's intelligence challenges."

"It is a steadfast truth that every second given to regret is a precious second stolen from creation — an essential principle for the reflective life."

"The inspired Scriptures make the clear distinction between false and true riches and make plain the reason why happiness is gained and fully enjoyed only by those who find true riches."