"The moment I was introduced to my wife, Emma, at a party I thought, here she is - and 20 minutes later I told her she ought to marry me. She thought I was as mad as a rat. She wouldn't even give me her telephone number - and she wrote in her diary: 'A funny little man asked me to marry him.'"

"A lot of actors find it impossible not to ask for the audience's sympathy. They have a need to twinkle."

"Sometimes the weekend gets hijacked by work, but as my mother would say, this is the right problem."

"When you are desperate to get someone who isn't all that interested in you, you lay siege as hard as you can."

"Less is only more where more is no good."

"Wisdom principle 99 tells us that the journey of life is lesson 18."

"It's easier to go down a hill than up it but the view is much better at the top."

"Wisdom principle 12 tells us that the journey of life is lesson 90."