"In our brief national history we have shot four of our presidents, worried five of them to death, impeached one and hounded another out of office. And when all else fails, we hold an election and assassinate their character."

"What would annoy the most people most often? That is the true left-wing test of government intervention."

"Like most sensible people, you probably lost interest in modern art about the time that Julian Schnabel was painting broken pieces of the crockery that his wife had thrown at him for painting broken pieces of crockery instead of painting the bathroom and hall."

"Nobody likes insurance companies, especially health insurance companies."

"Mr. President, How are you going to work with people who seem to have divorced themselves from reality?"

"A fascist is one whose lust for money or power is combined with such an intensity of intolerance toward those of other races, parties, classes, religions, cultures, regions or nations as to make him ruthless in his use of deceit or violence to attain his ends."

"Our desires always disappoint us; for though we meet with something that gives us satisfaction, yet it never thoroughly answers our expectation."

"If it's true that our species is alone in the universe, then I'd have to say the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little."