"The most shocking fact about war is that its victims and its instruments are individual human beings, and that these individual beings are condemned by the monstrous conventions of politics to murder or be murdered in quarrels not their own."

"Experience is not what happens to a man; it is what a man does with what happens to him."

"Like every other good thing in this world, leisure and culture have to be paid for. Fortunately, however, it is not the leisured and the cultured who have to pay."

"Every man who knows how to read has it in his power to magnify himself, to multiply the ways in which he exists, to make his life full, significant and interesting."

"I started trying to write when I was in second or third grade."

"The humor section is the last place an author wants to be. They put your stuff next to collections of Cathy cartoons."

"I think every band is a little cautious when the drummer starts to write tunes."

"A lot of food criticism has a similar flavor to it, and I'm probably going to write about it in a different way."