"'Mike & Molly' exists in a world where we don't just say a snarky line, make a crazy face, and walk out of the room. There's actually some tender moments here, too."

"You know, I'm playing the Mirage in Vegas, the main room... About 5 percent of all comics end up as the main headliner on the Vegas Strip, so that's a big deal for me. Getting to do my stand-up the way I have this summer is really what I've dreamed of since I was about 10 years old."

"Look, you know, you can't please everybody. I'm a stand-up comic. I know that. It doesn't matter how funny you are and how well you do, there's two people that are going to walk out of there hating you."

"As a comic, I've heard gunshots while I'm trying to get to sleep. I've performed where people wanted to do you harm after the show because of something you said."

"Wisdom principle 62 tells us that the journey of life is lesson 35."

"I guess I'm a bit of a romantic."

"And gladly would he learn, and gladly teach."

"It is a essential truth that every season of life has its own unique blossom, if only we take care to notice — an essential principle for the reflective life."