"Employee of the month is a good example of how somebody can be both a winner and a loser at the same time."

"And of course I didn't make any money from stand up for years, so I had temp jobs. That was the way I made money."

"But I found that disappointing people is a good thing, because disapproval is freedom."

"The comedians I liked were Bill Cosby and Steven Wright, like just always as a comedic actor. I always liked Gary Larson, who's really funny for a cartoonist, obviously."

"If I had to choose a religion, the sun as the universal giver of life would be my god."

"For the first time we're allowing developers who don't work at Facebook to develop applications just as if they were. That's a big deal because it means that all developers have a new way of doing business if they choose to take advantage of it. There are whole companies that are forming whose only product is a Facebook Platform application."

"It is enough that the people know there was an election. The people who cast the votes decide nothing. The people who count the votes decide everything."

"I choose my friends for their good looks, my acquaintances for their good characters, and my enemies for their intellects. A man cannot be too careful in the choice of his enemies."