"You can't do anything to be funny. That's cringeworthy. If your humor comes out of a place of love every time, you don't make the joke bigger than you. The funniest comedians are in touch with their emotional level."

"Being funny is one of my greatest strengths. I can make girls smile when they're down, and when they're having a good time, I can carry on the joke."

"Boston is actually the capital of the world. You didn't know that? We breed smart-ass, quippy, funny people. Not that I'm one of them. I just sorta sneaked in under the radar."

"I wanted to be an English teacher. I wanted to do it for the corduroy jackets with patches on the side. When I got to college, as I was walking across campus one day, I ripped off a little flyer for this sketch-comedy group. It ended up being one of the greatest things I've ever done."

"We all become great explorers during our first few days in a new city, or a new love affair."

"I started so slowly and had so few followers and then it kind of sort of snowballed. I still feel an intimacy on Twitter, which I think a lot of us do. It feels intimate, doesn't it? I love it. I never thought I would."

"I see humanity now as one vast plant, needing for its highest fulfillment only love, the natural blessings of the great outdoors, and intelligent crossing and selection."

"I like suits. I mean, I always feel good in a suit; I'm more of a suit guy than a shirt-and-jeans-type guy, probably. You know, like, I love Brad Goresky's style. And sometimes he'll wear a pair of, like, leopard pants, and I'm like, I couldn't pull that off, but I appreciate it from afar."