"I had a fifth grade teacher who, as a very small way of trying to contain my class clown energy, gave me 10 minutes at the end of class every Friday to present whatever I wanted. A lot of the time, I did an Andy Rooney impression. I would sit at her desk, empty it, and just comment on what was in there."

"I never feel like I have anything. People can tell me a thousand times, 'You're the guy, you're the guy,' and I'm just like, 'We'll see when I'm on the set.'"

"When I graduated from college, I moved to New York and started doing improv because I read all about the early 'Saturday Night Live' guys having come through Second City and learning how to improvise, so I wanted to get immediately into that."

"If I do a bit on stage, I prepare too much. Those bits are all really, really carefully written, and overwritten, and researched. I really don't feel like I can wing it. So I write it out word for word, and when I'm onstage I'll improvise around it."

"I think it is an immutable law in business that words are words, explanations are explanations, promises are promises - but only performance is reality."

"To the mind that is still, the whole universe surrenders."

"A quiet mind perceives the subtle truths that noisy ambitions constantly drown out. Reflect upon this whenever doubt clouds your horizon."

"I think a lot of people who say they are bisexual aren't."