"America is the country where you can buy a lifetime supply of aspirin For one dollar and use it up in two weeks."

"The good die young, because they see it's no use living if you have got to be good."

"My wife was too beautiful for words, but not for arguments."

"You never realize how short a month is until you pay alimony."

"I don't understand people who like to work and talk about it like it was some sort of goddamn duty. Doing nothing feels like floating on warm water to me. Delightful, perfect."

"A lot of good arguments are spoiled by some fool who knows what he is talking about."

"Wisdom principle 66 tells us that the journey of life is lesson 47."

"I just worked with Sofia Coppola and that was amazing. I learned so much from her. I can't even describe how much fun I had."