"Dusting is a good example of the futility of trying to put things right. As soon as you dust, the fact of your next dusting has already been established."

"Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit."

"The very existence of flame-throwers proves that some time, somewhere, someone said to themselves, You know, I want to set those people over there on fire, but I'm just not close enough to get the job done."

"I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me - they're cramming for their final exam."

"I want a baby and I want a family, for sure."

"The interesting thing about being a mother is that everyone wants pets, but no one but me cleans the kitty litter."

"How do you rebel in a family of rebels? That's the age-old question. I guess I could have by not going into the arts, but the thing is, I couldn't do anything else."

"I don't think anyone has a normal family."