"Because society places a value on masculinity, gay men aspire to it. If you go to a gay club and the doorman says, 'You do realise this is a gay club, don't you lads?' you get all excited because you think, 'Wow, he thought I was straight!'"

"The people I want are very famous and very rich, and all I can offer them is a bit of exposure on TV and a bit of cash, so it's a miracle we get any guests at all. But we have been very lucky."

"It's amazing how I can just ramble on for hours, isn't it? And so unentertaining or uninteresting. But I can ramble on for hours. It's a sort of terrible gift, isn't it?"

"Straight men just can't imagine the bliss of being in a relationship with someone who finds farting as funny as they do."

"The first novel I wrote was a monster - clocking in at 180,000 words - but it died a death, a death it deserved. It was called 'The Gods First Make Mad.' It was a good title, but it was the only good thing about the book. I didn't let that put me off."

"Exclusively oral cultures are unencumbered by dead knowledge, dead facts. Libraries, on the other hand, are full of them."

"The moment you give up your principles, and your values, you are dead, your culture is dead, your civilization is dead. Period."

"I'm fed up to the ears with old men dreaming up wars for young men to die in."