"The experts who managed the original Marshall Plan say Afghanistan needs a commitment of at least $5 to $10 billion over 5 to 10 years, coupled with occupation forces of 250,000 Allied soldiers to keep the peace throughout the country."

"Money stress is what used to remind me of my Dad most."

"Music is more difficult - try naming a political band. The Dead Kennedys. The Dead Kennedys are political, but they are more funny than they are political."

"I feel like if I'm going to give you a book about my dad, then I really want to give you my dad, because he is interesting and he is funny and if you're buying a book about him, I don't want you to have to sit through stuff that's not him."

"One of the things that comedy has given me over the years is a really good ability to laugh at myself and to not take things that don't matter too much too seriously. I feel that very little offends me anymore and I'm really grateful for that because I think I was a pretty uptight little kid."

"I'm not much of a joke writer."