"Well I think that, if you want to look at polarizing people right now, I wouldn't look at Palin, I'd look at Barack Obama."

"We know that Europe loves President Obama. He had adoring crowds. The press loves Obama. The question is how will this date end? Okay? The question is, to what end? Why do they love President Obama? They love his personal story, they love his wife. North Korea, China and Russia don't really care about Michelle's arms and, you know, whether they gave an iPod to the Queen, okay?"

"Solutions-oriented campaigning with a little passion and a little humor; I think that will go a long way. I think people are desperate for it."

"But to say that Sarah Palin and the tea party movement is responsible for vandalism or threats is just a way to dismiss the American people and, and their dissatisfaction with this health care bill."

"But if something funny happens, I can't resist. I have to tell the people."

"I saw 28 Days. I don't remember rehab being like a day camp or being that funny. Rehab is a dumping ground. It's a big landfill."

"Why is Cloud 9 so amazing? What is wrong with Cloud 8? That joke came off the top of my head, and the top of my head ain't funny!"

"It's funny. When I saw the script in my inbox and it said 'Sparkle,' I thought, 'For real? It's really called 'Sparkle?'' I was wondering, too, how does 'Jordin Sparks as Sparkle' sound?"