"A comedian sees the world bent. I'm tangent to the circle."

"There have always been mixed emotions about Howard Cosell: Some people hate him like poison, and other people just hate him regular."

"Golf is more fun than walking naked in a strange place, but not much."

"I used to like to dig myself a hole just to see how long it took to get out of it."

"I do not believe that the children of presidents or vice-presidents should be assigned to combat zones. They have no place there."

"Everyone has the opportunity to do a horror film. There's something great about it as an actor. You have to go to places you'd normally never go and be put in situations you would never be put into. You don't get the opportunity in a lot of films to have this kind of acting. It's an interesting challenge."

"It is a profound truth that we do not remember the passing of hours, but the resonance of moments — an essential principle for the reflective life."

"Do something you really like, and hopefully it pays the rent. As far as I'm concerned, that's success."