"The natural principle of war is to do the most harm to our enemy with the least harm to ourselves and this of course is to be effected by stratagem."

"Marriage is the torment of one, the felicity of two, the strife and enmity of three."

"Acting provides the fulfillment of never being fulfilled. You're never as good as you'd like to be. So there's always something to hope for."

"A woman's whole life is a history of the affections."

"Nothing is more noble, nothing more venerable than fidelity. Faithfulness and truth are the most sacred excellences and endowments of the human mind."

"Many baseball fans look upon an umpire as a sort of necessary evil to the luxury of baseball, like the odor that follows an automobile."

"When the car's going well, I purr like a kitten."

"Opera is when a guy gets stabbed in the back and, instead of bleeding, he sings."