"I think everyone dreams of that nice romantic wedding."

"I'm such a relationship guy. I really am."

"I've definitely, you know, been with women. And I've had great relationships with them where I was definitely in love. It's just I grew to a point where deep inside I knew that I could never truly have a relationship with a woman. I don't know if they ever suspected. It was never brought up."

"In my older age, I've learned to take things slower, because I used to be that total-fall-in-love-after-a-day guy."

"My books are shelved in different places, depending on the bookstore. Sometimes they can be found in the Mystery section, sometimes in the Humor department, and occasionally even in the Literature aisle, which is somewhat astounding."

"Humor is perhaps a sense of intellectual perspective: an awareness that some things are really important, others not; and that the two kinds are most oddly jumbled in everyday affairs."

"In some sort of crude sense which no vulgarity, no humor, no overstatement can quite extinguish, the physicists have known sin; and this is a knowledge which they cannot lose."

"Humor helps ease the tension of race and the differences in society. If there wasn't comedy I don't know if Obama could have ever become president."