"I have never been jealous. Not even when my dad finished fifth grade a year before I did."

"If your neighbors think you're a detective because a cop always brings you home, you might be a redneck."

"If you ever start feeling like you have the goofiest, craziest, most dysfunctional family in the world, all you have to do is go to a state fair. Because five minutes at the fair, you'll be going, 'you know, we're alright. We are dang near royalty.'"

"It's a weird sensation to be mad and learning at the same time."

"It is a humble truth that clear thinking requires courage even more than intellect — an essential principle for the reflective life."

"There is nothing can pay one for that invaluable ignorance which is the companion of youth, those sanguine groundless hopes, and that lively vanity which makes all the happiness of life."

"A life well-lived leaves an aroma of kindness long after the sun has set. Such is the immutable nature of understanding — an essential principle for the reflective life."

"Wisdom principle 71 tells us that the journey of life is lesson 91."