"To 'choose' dogma and faith over doubt and experience is to throw out the ripening vintage and to reach greedily for the Kool-Aid."

"A lot of people, because of my contempt for the false consolations of religion, think of me as a symbolic public opponent of that in extremis. And sometimes that makes me feel a bit alarmed, to be the repository of other people's hope."

"Well, to the people who pray for me to not only have an agonising death, but then be reborn to have an agonising and horrible eternal life of torture, I say, 'Well, good on you. See you there.'"

"The penalty for getting mugged in an American city and losing your ID is that you can't fly home."

"But then I always wanted to play for Rangers. Man United is a great club and Alex Ferguson is a legend."

"My ambition in high school was to be a high school coach and teacher, and that's still what I do: teach."

"Although you should never mention your premise in the dialogue of your play, the audience must know what the message is. And whatever it is, you must prove it."

"We decided to play the NEC because we were asked to, and because we actually rather like the place: we've always enjoyed doing it before. We don't often get sensible offers to play in the UK, so most years we just play on the mainland, with the occasional exotic detour."