"The private interest of the individual would not be sufficiently provided for by reasonable and cool self-love alone therefore the appetites and passions are placed within as a guard and further security, without which it would not be taken due care of."

"Happiness or satisfaction consists only in the enjoyment of those objects which are by nature suited to our several particular appetites, passions, and affections."

"Love of our neighbour, then, has just the same respect to, is no more distant from, self-love, than hatred of our neighbour, or than love or hatred of anything else."

"Compassion is a call, a demand of nature, to relieve the unhappy as hunger is a natural call for food."

"They dream in courtship, but in wedlock wake."

"Man is a creation of desire, not a creation of need."

"I heard I won 'best butt crack' on television recently. It's true. I did it, you guys. I made it. I wish I got an award, the actual award. What would it look like? Of course, it's a closed set."

"A person who has sympathy for mankind in the lump, faith in its future progress, and desire to serve the great cause of this progress, should be called not a humanist, but a humanitarian, and his creed may be designated as humanitarianism."