"If I had it my way, I never would have left San Francisco, but things change and that's the nature of this business. We have to move on. We hopefully get opportunities down the road that we take advantage of."

"I've been fortunate and blessed to further my career in the Arena Football League, and I've had a good time doing it."

"I don't know if it's how I speak or what it is about me that presents that sort of label, but I don't know how many times I have to be out in public with a girlfriend to stop that from being said."

"Just because an individual in his 30s hasn't found true love and, yes, there are opportunities to date but it also forces you to be more particular. In so many ways, you become more adamant about finding that right person and not allowing yourself to open up to just anybody."

"A lot of stand-up comedy guys, when they get a little famous, just give up their stand-up career, and it cancels out the thing that set them apart."

"You have to work for everything. Marriage should not be any different."

"So that's why one of my rules of parody writing is that it's gotta be funny regardless of whether you know the source material. It has to work on its own merit."

"I feel like we're a very good top-10 car, but we really have to work hard and find a unique way to get these top fives."