"I like nonsense, it wakes up the brain cells. Fantasy is a necessary ingredient in living, it's a way of looking at life through the wrong end of a telescope. Which is what I do, and that enables you to laugh at life's realities."

"Adults are obsolete children."

"Maybe Christmas, the Grinch thought, doesn't come from a store."

"I've heard there are troubles of more than one kind; some come from ahead, and some come from behind. But I've brought a big bat. I'm all ready, you see; now my troubles are going to have troubles with me!"

"All theory of modernity in sociology suggests that the more modernity there is, the less religion. In my theory we can realize that this is wrong: atheism is only one belief system among many."

"The moment that you feel that just possibly you are walking down the street naked...that's the moment you may be starting to get it right."

"I think it's fair to say more adultery goes on in hotels than any other place in the world."

"I don't intend to simply go away and write my plays and be a good boy. I intend to remain an independent and political intelligence in my own right."