"In order to be able to give a girlfriend the amount of time she deserves, you would need time, and I just can't give her that. So, rather than being selfish or stupid enough to go into a relationship, it's just been easier to be single."

"It has always surprised me how little attention philosophers have paid to humor, since it is a more significant process of mind than reason. Reason can only sort out perceptions, but the humor process is involved in changing them."

"Puns are a form of humor with words."

"Movies these days have made killers into funny people. What's that all about? I've got kids and family and friends, and I don't like bad things. I don't think they're funny, and it's irresponsible to make movies that don't show you how that's not good."

"It takes a man to suffer ignorance and smile."